Beta male, what really constitutes whether you are one or not?
This is a crucially important question, and is certainly worth reading an article on. A lot of men out there are very concerned about how people (especially girls), perceive them.
Before I dive into this, I want to shed light on something that you may or may not be aware of. And that is this reality: 8 out every 10 guys, are beta males.
Even that’s being generous.
That means there is an 80% chance, that YOU reading this right now, are a beta. How do you know for sure? That’s what we’ll be discussing in this article. One thing I want to make clear right away here: It IS possible, to move from beta to over to alpha. It happens all time. Every day, there are men out there that are making this transition.
Will it be easy? That depends on you. It also depends on how hard of a case you are. You see…I think some men are extreme beta’s, while others are just slightly beta, while others fall somewhere in between.
The difficulty of moving from beta to alpha will also depend on which of the below characteristics you posses, and to what degree.
For example some of the characteristics I’m about to describe are VERY hard to unplug yourself from, while others not so much. This is also dependent on you, and your unique strengths and weaknesses.
I wish I could sit here and tell you there’s an easy fix, but I’d be lying to you. This is because what made you the beta male, largely has to do with your blue-pilled upbringing.
It has to do with ideas that were rammed into your head by society, your parents, and your teachers. Its a process of undoing years and years of social programming, which sometimes is not easy to do.
The good news here, is that the 1st major step to overcoming a problem, is realizing it’s there in the first place.
This article will start to make you aware. Again, I want to reiterate that this process may not be as hard for some of you, as it will be for others.
Further, at the end I’ll give you some actionable steps you can take to move from beta, over to alpha.
Without further udo, lets jump right in:
Beta Male Indicator #1: You fall into a woman’s frame quickly, and reside there permanently.
Alpha male’s have a wolverine-like sense of frame. They subconsciously hold a strong frame, when engaged in any kind of relationship with women, even non-sexual ones. This of course includes even basic conversation, which is where the whole frame control process begins.
A lack of a strong, central frame, all by itself, could really be the only thing that changes a man from an alpha to a beta. You have to educate yourself of what frame is, and how to keep and maintain it.
If you really want to get deep into this subject, one thing you could study is NLP (Nuero Linguistic Programming). However I’d probably start with this book right here, and that will get you started.
Beta Male Indicator #2: You’re raising another man’s children, and/or live with a woman you aren’t married to.
In addition to the subject of what’s alpha vs. what’s beta, this one could also be used to describe what is red pill vs. blue pill.
Now, lets address this issue first: raising another man’s children. This is probably the primary thing in this whole article, that men today are unaware of. I know I was before I myself became ”red pill aware”.
What are men unaware of? That being a ”cuckold” is an undesirable fate and outcome.
Being a cuck, has become so prevalent in our modern society, that most men out there today don’t even stop to think there’s anything wrong with it.
Now there are alpha’s that end up becoming cucks too, there’s no question about that one. However, its far more common to see a beta male ending up in this role, and deep down you know that.
Men need to start waking up and realizing that being a cuckold is a disgrace.
Beta’s are also much more susceptible to being talked into moving in with their girlfriends. This is because of the ”alpha-fucks, beta bucks-principal”.
Most girls see no need to move into a place with an alpha male. Typically, they’ll just use the alpha for what he’s good at: providing them sexual pleasure and/or drama and excitement.
The beta on the hand, is good at being a provider (beta bucks), therefore women more commonly see a benefit to moving in with one.
There is nothing dangerous, sexy, exciting, or fun about being a ”provider”.
Beta Male Indicator #3: Girls often make you wait for sex with them.
There is probably not a more basic, fundamental, or obvious sign that you may be a beta, than when a woman makes you wait for sex. Although this is still not a guarantee that you’re beta, its a hell of leap in that direction.
Sex is a primal instinct. When a woman is quickly triggered by a man to have sex with him, its always due an alpha male vibe. This is true whether the man is truly alpha or not.
He only needs to exhibit alpha characteristics long enough to get her into bed.
Always remember: Attraction is not a choice. If attraction were a choice, then most women wouldn’t be attracted to alpha’s, they would be attracted to beta’s.
It’s not rational or logical to be attracted to danger, excitement, or drama, but it doesn’t matter that it’s not ”rational or logical”, because attraction is not a conscious choice.
Beta Male Indicator #4: You have a lot of self-deprecating humor.
Think about every man you know of, that uses a lot of self-deprecating humor. I’d bet hard money that 8 out 10 of those men are beta males. Louis CK is a great example. The guy might be funny, and yes humor can be attractive to women, but that by no means indicates he is an alpha male.
NEVER, and I mean NEVER use self-deprecating humor in the presence of attractive women, or your girlfriend. It is a huge turnoff to them.
Alpha’s usually are somewhat oblivious to their flaws. At the very least, they aren’t aware of their flaws consciously enough to be making jokes out of them.
Beta Male Indicator #5: You Avoid risk and confrontation.
This is the hallmark of a beta. I’m tempted to even say here that this is the #1 characteristic of a man that’s a beta. Its without a doubt the most common. Now as a humans, its normal to want to avoid risk and confrontation, so sometimes this one can be confusing.
The best advice I can offer here, is to take this one in conjunction with the other points on this list. How many of these other 16 traits do you exhibit?
Let’s be honest here you’ll know deep down after reading this article whether or not you’re a beta (if you don’t already). If you posses a higher quantity of these other 16 traits here, then this one is most definitely a problem for you.
Again this one is the most common characteristics on this whole list.
If you really want to know if confrontation is a problem for you, start frequently asking yourself how confrontational you are around a woman.
Do you call her out on her shit?
Let me put it to you this way: I don’t know of a single alpha male, and I mean a single one, that is afraid to call a woman on her bullshit. It just doesn’t exist. If the alpha was afraid to do this, he wouldn’t be an alpha, he’d be a beta.
Beta Male Indicator #6: You are pessimistic about your current state of affairs and your future (think Peter Gibbons from the movie ”Office Space”).
This one might be a little less obvious, but beta’s are pessimistic men. They whine, bitch, moan, and complain about their current state of affairs.
A perfect example of this is Peter Gibbons in the comedy ”Office Space”. In the middle of the film, he gets hypnotized and turns into an alpha instantly.
Personally, I am nothing but completely overwhelmed and excited about my future. My future is sometimes all I think about. I dream about it while I’m asleep, and while I’m awake.
I have every reason to be excited, why wouldn’t I be? The world is my oyster and I’m sucking it down with a champagne chaser. But a lot of men don’t share my excitement, and most of these men are beta’s.
Beta Male Indicator #7: You still get bullied or mistreated by people.
An alpha wouldn’t stand for anyone bullying, or mistreating him, therefore the only men getting bullied are the beta’s. This one shouldn’t come as a huge surprise either.
Beta men are afraid of confrontation, and people that are overly afraid of confrontation, are easy targets for other people (men and women).
The reason for this is because other people, can spot weakness a mile away. It radiates off of you. Your lack of self-respect, annoys people, and they’ll punish you for it. Most of the time they wont even know they’re doing this, but trust men its human nature.
Ever since I became a man, and gained a healthy level of self-respect, people completely stopped fucking with me. They can see it in my eyes, my smile, my posture, and the way I carry myself. Everything about me radiates, and commands respect. And most of the time this happens before I even open my mouth.
Once I do, it continues with my unbreaking eye-contact, vocal projection, and direct style of communication (humor is a sign of self-respect too, as long as its not self-deprecating).
Beta Male Indicator #8: You lack the ability to make decisions for yourself.
You’re indecisive, about even the most trivial of decisions, like where to go eat for example. Making decisions is a mental muscle that is used in different ways.
Everyone has the ability to make decisions obviously, but not everyone governs themselves like they’re a leader.
You not only have to be able to make quick decisions, but you have to make them without later second-guessing yourself.
The decisions you make needs to be final. You should very rarely ever go back on your word or a decision once its made, or once it leaves your mouth.
It will take a little time to cultivate this if you’re far removed from what I’m describing here, but its not as hard as it seems actually.
Beta Male Indicator #9: You’re thin and frail, like Steve Buscemi.
Its far more common for a beta to be one of those thin, frail guys, than a built, testosterone-fueled one. The reasoning for this, is because gaining muscle and size, does wonders for increasing a man’s sense of self-worth, esteem, and self confidence.
Once you’re built like a Greek god, you’ll walk taller, hold your head higher, and will look girls directly in their eyes without breaking contact first.
When your thin, frail, and have no muscle, and it looks like anyone could kick your ass, women aren’t as attracted to you. This will not only be because of your lack of confidence, but also because women just will not feel safe around you.
Beta Male Indicator # 10: You frequently get friend-zoned (or you’re in the friend zone right now) (Always make your intentions clear from the beginning!).
This is another one I never really had a problem with, at least not after the age of 18. This one is kind of mind-boggling to me. I don’t really understand why so many guys have a problem with this. When I meet an attractive girl, I make it known very quickly that I’m sexually interested in her.
Not by coming out and telling her this, but by mentioning we should get together for a drink sometime soon (often with a little smirk on my face). She also gets this message from my vibe towards her as well.
This will almost always prompt 2 responses: either she’ll say ”yes, we should!”, or she’ll tell me she ”I have boyfriend”. Either way, at least I’m not wasting my damn time.
Beta’s are afraid to be this direct with women. They’ll think they’re coming off ”too strong, too fast”.
No no no no NO! This is actually what your WANT to do my friend…
You want to make it clear to her that you are a man, a man that goes after what he wants, even if there’s a higher than normal probability that he wont get it.
When you’ve only known a girl for a few minutes sometimes its impossible to determine if she has a boyfriend, but don’t ever let that stop you from trying.
Otherwise how will you know?
Beta Male Indicator #11: You have a hard time saying ”no”.
Another one of the tell tale signs that you’re a hardcore beta. A beta is typically a people-pleaser and is overly concerned about what other people think of him. This means he lacks the testicular fortitude to tell people ”NO”, which is the most powerful word there is in existence.
The word ”no” and the term ”beta male”, are practically oxi-morons.
Beta Male Indicator # 12: You are offended by this article.
If you’re reading this, and you’re genuinely infuriated, or even a little mad, then chances are very high that its because I am striking a chord. If this article prompts you to leave a nasty comment, then its even more apparent that you are as beta as it gets.
Hiding behind a keyboard, is likely as confrontational as you ever get, which is why you take the time to leave a nasty comment in the first place: its makes you feel more like ”a man”.
Beta Male Indicator # 13: You are scared shitless of attractive girls.
You are afraid of the prospect of walking up to and talking to a very attractive girl. It scares you to fucking death. You imagine all kinds of scenarios in your head about what could go wrong, and you eventually talk yourself out of it.
You haven’t done a cold approach in months.
Beta Male Indicator # 14: You’ll often put other’s needs before your own.
This is the opposite of what an alpha does. The alpha almost always put his own needs before those of other people. He is selfish. Selfishness is so rare nowadays in men, that the minute a woman detects it in you, she gets turned on.
Beta = Selfless.
Beta Male Indicator # 15: You aren’t up front, honest or direct with people about your inner desires, especially women.
There’s actually a term for this, it’s called being ”Mode 2” with women. Mode 1 on the other hand, is the exact opposite. When you’re Mode 1, you’re the alpha basically.
Women absolutely love a direct man, and they’ll often get wet down there over him. The reason for this is because of the balls it takes for a man to be truly direct and straightforward with a woman. Especially an attractive one.
If you want to garner the attention of 9’s and 10’s, then you will have to use direct game.
Beta Male Indicator # 16: You aren’t masculine.
Which most likely also means that you:
-Eat a lot of processes carbohydrates.
-Eat a lot of carbohydrates period.
–Whack off a lot.
-Have no self-control, or self-discipline.
-Have a poor work ethic.
-Exhibit most or all of the other 16 items on this list.
Beta Male Indicator # 17: You worry about what other people think of you.
Yet another reason why you are afraid of approaching. You wonder what the people around you will think of the approach if it fails.
Action Steps To Take:
Over the next 3 months (90 days), I want you to do the following things every day:
1.) Read this book right here, which will start to teach you about the importance of frame control between two people.
2.) Seriously consider going ghost and/or silent on every girl that is making you wait for sex. Make her wonder where you went. Stop pursuing her, give her the opportunity to start pursuing you.
3.) Only answer ”Yes” or ”No” to every question you are faced with. No explanations whatsoever may follow your answer. Credit goes to Victor Pride for this suggestion.
4.) If haven’t already, start lifting weights and do it every single day. Do this past the 3 month mark. Lift weights until you’ve built yourself a respectable body, and have started to garner the attention of attractive women because of it (you’ll know when this happens, trust me).
This is what I did when I was 15 years old, and its the number one thing that helped my self confidence.
5.) Write out 10 goals for yourself, to be accomplished within the next 6 months. These can be anything you want them to be. Do not set any goals outside of the 6 month time frame, or else you’ll procrastinate on taking action towards them.
6.) Write out 25 reasons to feel good about yourself (very important).
This will take you several minutes at least. That’s fine, don’t worry about that. I don’t care if it takes 25 minutes. The deeper into the list you get, the harder this will become. You may even want to split this up over two sessions.
This is important to do however because we often forget the things we’re good at. This exercise will immediately raise your spirits and will help remind you why you should feel optimistic about your abilities.
7.) Practice being quicker with your every day decisions. Start paying attention every time you are faced with a decision. Make a very focused effort to be faster about arriving at a decision on what to do.
8.) Listen to the Mode 1 audiobook by Allan Roger Currie. Make sure you do the exercises he says to do at the end of each section (your Mode 1 personal journal).
9.) Do 2 approaches per day for the next 3 weeks. 3 or 4 would be better if at all possible. These can take place anywhere. Some examples to get you started are: the coffee shop, the grocery store, target, the mall, CVS (or the drug store), 711, a fitness class, or an outlet mall.
I know approaching can be easier said than done. If you need some extra help with this I would check out Chris’s ”Approach Anxiety program” from GoodLookingLoser.com
10.) Try to be more selfish, especially with regard to your own time, attention, and companionship.
11.) Read my article right here on Testosterone Replacement Therapy, and consider getting your bloodwork done. If you have low testosterone, you’ll want to find out as soon as possible so you can do something about it, quickly.
12.) STOP caring what other people think about you!! Particularly with regard to the approaches you’ll be doing. Don’t worry about what the people around you and the girl will think if the approach doesn’t go perfectly.
Most of them aren’t even paying attention anyway, you just think they are.