I’ve been meaning to write this article for a while. Every men’s self-improvement blog, especially those that discuss the truth about inter-sexual dynamics, should to let their audiences know where they stand on marriage.
My views on marriage, interestingly enough, have very recently changed, so this is the perfect time for me to finally write this article for you guys. Everyone reading this wants to know: Am I advising marriage? Or am I opposed to it?
Here is the short answer:
I am no longer advocating that a man gets married. HOWEVER: before you assume you already know where this article is headed, here me out here.
I say this because as I just stated: my views on marriage have very recently changed, and I’m going to go into detail on why and how this shift in view happened.
I did not always feel the way I now do, about marriage and everything it entails, so I think you’re going to find this article extremely useful, and also extremely relevant to you. I’m going to tell you how my views evolved over time, and why.
The Way I Used To Feel About Marriage:
For most of my life, I had conflicting views about marriage.
In my younger years, I always wanted to get married. I dreamed about one day finding a girl I could respect, and one that would be my ”opposite-sex equal”.
A beautiful girl, an intelligent one, a loyal, committed one, and also one that possessed values. A girl that would make a great mother to my children.
As I grew up, I would meet girls in life, and I’d always think to myself: ”Is this the girl? Is she the one?”
Then as I got older, lets say age 18 or so, my views started to change. Go with me here for a second, because what I’m about to say here is still different from my recently updated (current view) on marriage.
What I’m going into right below is what I felt about marriage when I was between the ages of 18-30.
Between the ages of 18-30, I’d think to myself:
”Why in the world, do men get married? What is the appeal to it?”
”One woman, for the entirety of the rest of my life? That’s it? How is that even healthy or natural?”
That whole idea, seemed absolutely crazy to me. It seemed so boring, so average. I’ve always wanted to live an exceptional life. I always wanted to be any and everything BUT average.
Even if the woman was very attractive, what happens when her looks start to fade at age 50. Will I just suddenly no longer want to have sex anymore when I’m 50? (I figured this wasn’t likely)
These were all questions I would ask myself.
Then I would watch one by one, as all of my friends would throw in their towels.
They ALL gave up.
They all settled for the 1st or 2nd girl they seriously dated, no matter how physically unappealing she was, or how much game they had (even my friends that had game settled for less than desirable women). What I came to realize, was what this behavior really represented. This behavior really represented these men not be willing to put in the work, and the self-improvement necessary, to get a girl that was within their potential to get.
It was all just ”too much work for them”. Realizing all of this pissed me off internally and just made me resist the idea of marriage even more.
I believe the real reason I felt this way however: was because monogamy (one woman for every man) just fundamentally goes against a man’s true nature. A man’s true, biological nature, is to impregnate as many women as possible. This is coded into a man’s DNA. This is how men are wired.
People would ask me (often the same people, over and over), whether I was seeing anyone. They would say ”Are you seeing/dating anyone?” or my favorite: ”You married yet?”. During these ages, I never saw the point of dating any specific girl, or the point of being with one exclusively.
If I DID have moments where I wanted a girlfriend, they were fleeting moments, and would only arise because I would get tired of these same people asking me these same questions, almost every time I saw them. I would want a girlfriend just to shut these people the fuck up.
I knew that if I dated one girl exclusively, one of two things would eventually happen:
A.) She would break the relationship off by getting bored with me, therefore causing immense heartbreak, depression, and despair (which I was prone to in my younger, beta years)
OR:
B.) She would want to get married and have kids with me. I always had it in my head that I did not want to get married until at least age 35. One reason for this was I had bucket list items like traveling the world. All this said: I never saw the point in committing to one girlfriend when I was still between the ages of 18-30.
What was I going to do? Date a girl for 12 years and then propose to her? Anyway, this all just explains where my head was at the time. In many ways, even today my head is still in agreement with several of these beliefs.
At the time, I couldn’t understand why I was the only man who wasn’t afraid to embrace the truth about how I felt.
Then at about age 30, my views started to change. I even did 2 videos and wrote 2 whole articles on this right here. At 30, I started to get tired of nothing meaningful or worthwhile ever resulting from meeting random girls. I started to see the appeal of being with just 1 woman. Now I’m not gonna go into a big story on all the reasons why my feelings changed, because I already did that in those videos/articles I referenced. If you want to read in more detail, on why my views changed around age 30, just watch those videos.
Then most recently, I had a couple of recent experiences (one in particular) that made me red pill aware, and ”un-plugged” me.
Since becoming unplugged, my views over the course of the last 12 months have now changed (again). More accurately: they have evolved once again. This didn’t happen right away, again this took about a year, but it now culminated at where I am at the writing of this article you’re reading
So where I am right now? Well as I stated at the beginning: I am no longer for the idea of marriage. BUT I also want to make something clear here: this does not mean my views have gone back to exactly what they were when I was between the ages of 18-30, because they haven’t. I would say that my views now are a combination of how I felt between 18-30, and how I felt in the few years following that (30-33), but with red pill awareness now added into the mix.
The red pill awareness is what kind of brought back a lot of the views I had between ages 18-30. Basically, now I just do not feel that women can be trusted.
The woman I had dreamed about finding in my younger years, about one day finding and marrying: I no longer believe that woman actually exists. That was a fantasy sold to me by Hollywood, and like most guys today, I bought into the lie hook, line, and sinker.
Here is what I’ve come to realize about this life gentlemen: those girls do NOT exist.
Maybe they did in the past, in another lifetime, perhaps a generation or two ago. But not anymore. The days of finding pure women my friends are over. Those days could not be more dead, and those days could not be more gone.
Dead and fucking gone.
Our modern society weeded those girls out of existence with the same ruthlessness as nature.
Let me give you an example: how many women do you know nowadays, that are virgins? I’m talking about women between the ages of 20-25. How many of them do you know, that are still virgins?
That’s what I thought.
Nowadays all you have are used-up girls that have each already been with 50-200 of guys.
A woman’s value diminishes with the more partners she’s had. By the time she’s slept with 10 guys, she’s lost all her relationship value. You can no longer trust that woman.
So what I have come to realize is that women today: can simply not be trusted.
2 more reasons why women in 2019 cannot be trusted:
1.) Women have opened themselves up to what is called ”Open Hypergamy” nowadays. In other words: they have become honest, and completely shameless about the fact that all they care about is a financially successful, and resourceful man.
Now the good thing in my case, is that I will not accept anything less than the utmost success for myself. However, this does not change the fact that women (thanks to their primal hypergamous nature), cannot be trusted.
Why? What exactly am I getting at here?
Well, what I mean is a woman, especially an attractive one, will never stop looking for a man who’s a notch or two ahead of the man they’re currently with. They will never turn their eyes off to this. They will never let that inner voice die that says they can do a little better, a little better, a little better.
On top of all this: our society (thanks to feminism), actually encourages women to be like this (even beyond their natural desire to do so). This image pretty much sums it up:
2.) Women are simply incapable of telling the truth, even when they’re not lying.
Your grandfather’s generation doesn’t exist anymore. It just doesn’t. Those days of finding a young, loyal and loving wife, once again: could not be more dead, and could not be more gone. Get those idealistic images of what marriage used to be, out of your head. They aren’t serving you. In fact, your idealistic view of marriage is very likely going to hurt you, and it will hurt you badly.
Thousands of men every year, literally kill themselves over divorces. They put both barrels of a shotgun to their mouths.
Another point I wanted to make, is that you have to understand what marriage really is, & what it was designed for.
Marriage is designed to keep society in order. Keeping society in order, is what marriage is really, truly is designed to do. Marriage is a way of controlling the alpha males of society.
You see: a real alpha male has the ability to overthrow those in control. He threatens their power. A weak beta male, who is low in testosterone, is much easier to manipulate and control. A weak, beta male, does not pose a threat to those in power. Those in control are not worried about a man like this overthrowing them. This the exact reason why their is an agenda to weaken men in our society. The elites want men to be weak, low in testosterone, and submissive.
But that’s a topic for another article.
I have summarized below, a list of 4 big reasons why you should not get married. Without further ado, let’s begin:
1.) DIVORCE.
50% of marriages in the US end in divorce. That’s no secret, but just stop and think about that for a second. Think about what a commitment marriage is in the 1st place, and then throw on top of that the emotional trauma that men that go through divorces go through, especially when there are children involved.
The kids often end up scarred for life, traumatized and confused themselves and are often emotionally unstable. My parents, for example, got divorced, and while I turned out fine, the same cannot be said for my sister. My sister just got committed to a federal state penitentiary for the next 5 years.
That’s right fellas, she got committed, and she’s been severely messed up in the head for years now. Drugs, eating disorders, mental instability, financial problems, take your pick.
As far as men are concerned, divorce is almost always a very stressful, cortisol-releasing experience from start to finish. It’s usually the women in a marriage that initiate the divorce. Often it’s because she’ll cheat on him, which will often be revealed at some point during the divorce process, adding to all the emotional turmoil.
Divorce is very often what turns men onto the red pill in the first place. Again, many men crack under the pressure and tie nooses around their necks.
2.) YOUR ASSETS ARE AT A HUGE RISK.
If you’re a man of self-respect, then your wealth and your assets are important to you. This is especially true if you’re an entrepreneur, and perhaps own a profitable business (or several of them). A nasty divorce can send a woman running straight after your assets, like a rabid dog. If you live in the United States, it’s no secret that the court system favors women.
This is in large part due to the Gynocracy (feminine-primary social order).
Can you imagine working hard your whole life, accumulating wealth and assets, and then having half of it handed away to a woman you hate?
Maybe even a woman that cheated on and was unfaithful to you? And to top it all off this was a decision made by the federal government? There’s no other real way to slice this: its too much risk.
You want to run your life like it’s a business (if you’re smart). Doing this means you cannot afford to take on unnecessary risk. Marriage is often a risk a man takes with his life and it’s a decision that’s made out of emotion, not out of logic.
We have been so deeply programmed by society, from a very young age, to believe we have to get married, and it’s very hard to undo all those years of programming.
I believe marriage DOES have its benefits: for example, it discourages degeneracy, and it’s also a better environment for children to grow up in.
However in today’s western world: it is just simply too much risk for a man that values his freedom, to take on.
There’s no other way around it. A woman in the west today reserves the right to change her mind at any time. You can do nothing wrong, but if one day she just suddenly decides she’s done with you, then that’s it, it’s over and you can wave bye-bye to half your assets.
Also: women live and die by their emotions. Deep down you already know this about women. You know that you can never really trust a word that comes out of their mouths. Why? Because there are so many constant biological and hormonal changes going on inside a woman’s body, at all times, that she’s never the same one day to the next.
When she says something, she may mean it in that moment that she says it, but you cannot trust her to still feel that same way, even if it’s only 24 hours later.
You can call me crazy, but deep down you know what I’m telling you here is truth. If there’s one thing I can tell you for sure, it’s this: I’m not going to be the one who’s caught with his pants down. I’m not going to get played like fool. Especially when there’s nothing a marriage can give you, that you cannot also get from an exclusive relationship.
3.) SEX DECLINES (RAPIDLY) AFTER MARRIAGE:
You’ve heard this time and time and time again. There’s a reason for that, and that’s because it’s the truth. Men also have this misconception that they’ll have more sex once they move in with a girl, or get married to one.
I will tell you this right now: you’re in for one rude fucking awakening if you think this is the case.
A woman knows she has you by the balls once you commit to her. You’ve handed your balls right over to her on a silver platter. Therefore, she won’t often feel the need to have sex with you as much as she did in her pre-marriage years. The same goes for cohabitation (living together).
Women use sex as a mechanism to get you to commit to them, to get you into a marriage, or cohabitation contract with them. It’s their bait. And don’t believe all that bullshit about women ”liking sex as much as men do”. This is a biological impossibility and is a HUGE misconception about females.
Men have 17 times the testosterone level that women do. Therefore, it is simply not humanly possible for women to crave sex as much as men do.
4.)FEMINISM DESTROYED
THE TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE:
Women are brainwashed from every direction these days, starting from very young ages, to believe they are independent, strong, and that they ”don’t need anyone else to be happy but themselves, especially not a man”. This is cultural brainwashing, brought on by the media, Hollywood, and pop culture.
Women grow up hearing these messages, over and over again, and after a while its seeps into their subconsciousness. It becomes a permanent, irreversible part of how they view themselves and their place within the world.
When you deeply convince a woman of this, and you combine it with her already hypergamous nature, you create a recipe for disaster. It will always linger in the back of her mind that she could leave you at any moment (if she so desired to).
Marriage is hard, it has many peaks and valleys. It takes a serious commitment from both parties if its going to work. There will be hard times. And when a woman has these beliefs in the back of her head, what do you think she’s going to do when those inevitable hard times arrive?
She’s going to do what humans do, and take the easier route.
Feminism (AKA cancer) and it’s ”progressive” ideas have made traditional marriage look and appear outdated. I don’t think people realize how far into our culture this cancer has spread. It’s to the point where every woman now, whether they admit to it or not, believes in a feminist narrative.
Even the women who don’t consider themselves to be feminists.
Take this for example:
Even my mother, who grew up in the late 60’s, the 70’s, and the early 80’s, grew up to have the mentality that the household duties between two people should be evenly split.
One spouse does one-half of the household duties, and another spouse does the other half. This belief found its roots in the idea that men and women are equal, that they are one and the same.
This is a feminist belief, and one that was born out of that cancerous movement. That egalitarian message was being pumped into our culture and society even as far back as the late 60’s and 70’s, and it resulted in someone like my mother growing up to believe that’s how a marriage should work. That men and women are ”equal”.
(BULLSHIT. Men and women are not equal, they never have been, and they never will be).
My mother was born in 1962, and grew up with beliefs like this. Just imagine what girls born in 1992, or 2002 are going to grow up believing.
CONCLUSION:
Does this article even need a conclusion? I feel like I’ve said enough here to convince you as to why marriage in the United States is bad idea. Now it’s up to you to take this information and internalize it. You may need to come back and re-read this article every few months, just to remind yourself of all the headaches and heartache you’re NOT missing out on.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments below.
-Matt Mitchell
FAX AAFTER FAX AFTER FAX lad!
u should read this post and put the audio at youtube to spread even more the great message.
Coming from one successful man to another (or it seems like you consider yourself one anyway, based on your other articles); the overt misogyny that spills out through the bitterness of your words and ideals just shows how deeply, deeply insecure you truly are – and how woefully unaware you are of it. A man who doesn’t respect women as potential equals isn’t a man at all – just an insecure baby who is robbing himself of a chance to grow, learn, and live a full life. You will always be insecure and angry, spending energy trying to keep women beneath you when not all of them belong there.
As a very successful business man I’ve come across women who are weak, who lean on men for their strength or lean on feminine tactics to manipulate their way through challenges… however I have also come across many strong and intelligent women who have helped me grow my businesses and investments, offering different perspectives on how to adapt to an ever-changing world. Those who do not value other perspectives rob themselves of the knowledge and enjoyment that can be derived from other ways of living.
I’m not telling you to change your values, but I will say that they’re outdated in 2020 and you will be left behind longing for a world that no longer exists. Your businesses will fail, your relationships will fail, and your eventual long term partner will grow away from you, if you cannot do some self reflection and learn to adapt to changing times.
Misogyny only attracts weak women and weak men to your inner circle. Scared betas who desperately want other people to think they’re alphas. Men with intensely fragile masculinity that they overcompensate by focusing on making sure their physical appearance, sex life, and career trajectory seem “manly” and successful from the outside. When I read this article, I do not see strength, only insecurity – a desperate cry for other insecure people to agree with them that women are useless and inherently bad or stupid.
A strong man attracts strong women who do not need to manipulate, lie, or cheat their way through life. A strong man attracts women whose value is not tied to their physical attractiveness, but their beauty in spirit, mind, and love.
A weak man will attract women who are looking to use them and are looking for someone “better” and with more assets.
If you are scared women will use you and leave you at their first opportunity, then you are not an alpha, and you are hardly a man at all.
A real alpha would know their own worth and could get a woman who is actually their equal, not all these other weak women who exploit your insecurities.
I appreciate your blog and its content, and while I understand it is directed toward men, I do agree with a lot of the things written here. As a woman with two brothers, I believe there is a war on men (especially in Western society) and anyone that believes otherwise is clearly blind. I do not, however, believe that the women that embody traditional values and gender roles are dead. I think it is an unfair and unwise assessment and generalization of the female gender. This statement robs a woman of her own unique identity. Not all women are modern feminists that are unapologetically promiscuous, always looking for a man to financially take advantage of. I do, have to agree with you though, that it does seem to be the prevailing theme among American/Westernized women. I know countless women that fit the description you’ve prescribed, I just hope you do understand, that traditional women are not extinct.
Thanks for allowing me to share my perspective.
Blessings to you and best of luck in all your endeavors.