Confidence, beyond any shadow of a doubt is the #1 characteristic that will mean the difference between a great sex life and zero (0) sex life.
Period.
If you didn’t already know this, then you’re probably pretty young. For most of you, that wasn’t anything you didn’t already know.
It would be so easy for me to sit here, and tell you that if you want more success with women, you ‘’just need to be more confident’’.
Let’s face the facts: if you aren’t confident, there are underlying reasons WHY you aren’t confident.
You need to figure out what those are. Pinpointing all of these is not the subject of this article. Unfortunately, I cannot narrow in on you specifically. But I can make an educated guess and say its very likely one or a combination of the following reasons:
-You’re under the age of 30 and don’t know yourself well enough yet.
-You don’t own your own business.
-You don’t go the gym often enough and aren’t fit like a bodybuilder.
-You don’t have the right friends and don’t have a good social circle (you probably stay in your apt. too often).
-You don’t dress like a sharp dressed man.
It’s almost always an extremely simple solution, you just choose to over-complicate it. The 5 factors above have mental impact on how you view yourself. And how you’re viewing yourself (or not viewing yourself) is the reason why you’re not confident around women.
The subject of this article, is to give you 3 steps you can start applying until you actually become confident. Anyone that tells you that you can gain confidence overnight is simply lying to you.
You can’t. Even if you suddenly started doing all 5 of the points I mentioned above at once, it would still take a few months to de-program your ingrained self-limiting beliefs.
Gaining and building confidence is a process that can take months or even years.
For those of you this applies to: Sorry this is just the brutal truth.
It certainly doesn’t have to take years. However long it takes is up to you. Realistically however, it almost always takes a minimum of a few months. The good news is that you don’t have to (and shouldn’t), wait until you have real confidence, to start approaching women.
Besides, NOTHING will accelerate your learning curve and bring you to confidence faster than going out and getting approach experience will. So without further ado, below is the first step to take while you’re working towards the real thing:
START TAKING YOUR APPEARANCE
SERIOUSLY.
1ST IMPRESSIONS ARE FOREVER….
Looks do matter. They matter up to the point at which you have control over your looks. Let me repeat this: Looks matter up to the point at which YOU have control over how you look. This includes your weight.
Perception is reality. If you’re overweight other people will assume your lazy. Most of the time they’re right too. I’d say 90 out 100 people with a weight problem are simply lazy, the other 10 may have a thyroid problem or a condition.
I’m not a big supporter of excuses so don’t pollute my blog with that garbage. I work more hours than anyone I know and I’m still in fantastic shape.
Any and every area of your appearance that you have control over, is an area that matters when it comes to your looks. How you dress, how your clothes fit your body, how you match colors with one another, how well trimmed your hair is (head, body, facial, and nose hair), and your weight.
They all matter. Why?
Because how well you have all these under control speaks volumes of how you handle every other part of your life. Women notice things like this. Women notice and pick up on things that most men don’t. They assign and assume meaning to every detail they notice about you. They are constantly thinking to themselves: ‘’What does that mean?’’
You don’t have to like it or agree with it, but you’re also not going to change all of their minds. Quit being angry about it, get off your ass, into a gym, a decent clothing store, and start fixing your appearance.
Dress and present yourself like you are a success, and girls will perceive you to be. ALL people will perceive you to be.
What’s most important however, is how these clothes make YOU feel. What MOST important, is not what the women think, but how YOU feel when you’re dressed like a winner. Walking around in form fitting clothes, that you know for a fact look good on you, will actually turn you more confident. Its not the clothes themselves, its how you feel when you’re in them.
Like me right here, you can just see it in my smile that I think I’m God’s gift to women:
Don’t believe me? Go out and buy yourself a $1,000 suit, tailored to fit you, walk around and take note of how many women start noticing you. Its astounding. Cant afford a nice suit, fine get a sports jacket, it isn’t much different. I’ve had women come up and approach me more times than I can count while I’ve been wearing these items.
Now you may not get approached as often as me, but if the outfit really is money on you, it will still happen 2-5X as often as it will when you’re cheap street clothes. Over time, these experiences will make you more confident.
You’ll think to yourself: ”Damn, women really do think I’m attractive!” ”They really do want to be seen with me!” When this starts to happen, it means you’re internalizing it and starting to actually believe it. And once YOU actually start to believe something, nothing can stop you.
The universe will move mountains to align reality with what you now believe to be true about yourself.
If you want to know how to dress well and not necessarily break the bank, then here’s your one stop shop.
There are a lot more UN-confident guys with broken appearances than there are confident ones.
If a man is confident, chances he already dresses well or has his own style. Think about it: how many truly confident men do you know that don’t have their own style or don’t dress well? Dress the same way you live your life: Like you know what you’re doing. Nothing is an accident.
Until next time,
Live (and dress) Intentionally,
-Matt Mitchell
