Recently I found myself spending some time with a young Colombian girl.
I met her at an after party on New Years Eve. She was quite attractive, and was very easy to get along with and talk to, despite the slight language barrier.
She had a pretty thick Colombian accent.
Anyway I dated her for about 2-3 months, and it recently ended.
Now, before I go further, please don’t let the title of this article confuse you, this was simply a girl I dated for a few months. Nothing more. The experience however (in conjunction with my past experiences) taught me something about women, that will forever change the way I view my relationships with them. It finally (finally) opened up my eyes to a major truth about them that I’ve been trying to figure out my whole life.
My entire life, I’ve been searching for a certain answer regarding why women are the way the are (in a certain area). And this experience finally pulled back the curtains for me, which is the reason I’m sharing this experience with you.
It dawned on me a few days ago, what exactly happened with me and this girl. In other words why we stopped seeing each other (why it ended).
The answer is so simple, and so straightforward, that I overlooked it.
I felt it necessary to write a quick article on this, because I believe this same situation happens to a lot of men out there. It is the reason why a lot of relationships end: no matter how short, or how long they last.
Basically: the reason it ended was because I violated the 1st (of 2 total) reasons, why a woman ever stays with a man in the 1st place. We’ll get to the 2nd reason later in the article, for now I’m just focusing on what ended our time together (which was only the 1st reason, not the 2nd)
It’s such a simple answer, that most men cannot possibly fathom it could be that easy, that straightforward, or that simple. But for many men, and for many relationships, I believe that what I’m about to explain, is exactly what happens.
When I met this girl, I had several drinks in me, so I was really feeling good at the exact moment I had met her. My energy and mood was highly elevated above where it normally is. This high energy and confidence was radiating off of me at the moment I walked up to her.
My first line to her, was something along the lines of this:
”I bet if you and I had babies, they would be beautiful”.
I looked her right in the eyes and told her that. She developed a big, bright, smile and started flirting with me. I spent the night with her that night (didn’t do anything beyond kiss her). We went to brunch the next day. Over the course of the next 5 weeks, we spent time together: hanging out at my place, hanging out at her place, top golf, dinner, etc.
This girl had told me on more than one occasion: ”I’m so glad you’re in my life”. And from the sound of her soft voice, it sounded like she had meant it (good actress). There was one night pretty early on, where she called me while she was out. She called me from the bathroom. She told me she’d been thinking about me all night, and ”couldn’t wait to see me again”. At the end of the phone call, she told me in a slow, soft voice: ”I am so glad I met you.”
So here is what I concluded from this whole experience:
This girl never really liked me, or was with me, for who I was.
She may have thought she liked me, but she really didn’t.
She simply was with me for the way I made her feel.
And when the way I made her feel changed, everything changed.
I had slowly but surely started to stir up negative emotions within her, that culminated with one particular incident (she asked me to get her a Gatorade bottle while she was hung over one morning, and I told ”NO”). There were also about 4-7 other comments I communicated to her that apparently rubbed her the wrong way.
No need to go into those, as they’re not the point of this article.
After that last experience (the Gatorade bottle), when she had thoughts of me, the only emotions that arose for her, were negative ones. Everything had now been inverted. Inverted from how it had started off.
In the beginning, all she had were good, positive feelings and emotions towards me.
Now, so far this may all sound simple, but I really believe I arrived at the closest thing to truth there is: girls never really, truly are with you, for you. They may think they are, they may have even say they are. However what they really like and are attracted to: is just the way you make them feel.
Let me state this another way:
Women stay with you for the way you make them feel, not because they actually, really like you.
At this point in my life, I now believe this from the deepest, deepest core of my being.
Women like (or even grow to love) the men they stay with for two reasons, and two reasons ONLY:
1.) Because of how these men make them feel. This is true even if those emotions are bad ones (some women crave the emotional roller coaster) and,
2.) They are getting value, resources, or provisioning from this man.
Men….I need you to hear this, and I need you to hear this now, loud and clear:
A woman’s feelings can change at the speed of a light switch. This is one of the differences between men and women: a woman’s feelings about you, can change INSTANTLY. This is red pill knowledge 101.
Now in my little story here, this actually did not happen (instantly), it was actually happening more gradually, and culminated with a straw that broke the camel’s back.
But when that straw came, it came, and it came HARD.
This is happening all the time, every day. Its happening right now somewhere. Some girl just decided she’s done with the man she’s dating. This can manifest itself in several ways: some girls deal with this by going behind their man’s back and cheating on him, other girls just decide to end their relationships abruptly.
Its almost ALWAYS the woman that initiates a breakup, or a divorce. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise: it is almost always the woman, who ends things in a relationship, it is rarely ever the man.
Most of the time, there are just thing’s happening in the relationship that you’re oblivious too (negative things). And this is important: the women always notice these things, the men rarely do.
Can bad mini relationships like my example here be avoided?
The short answer: Yes.
There were actually a lot of reasons why this relationship didn’t progress past a few months, but to stay on topic here:
Making sure a woman is compatible (to you) is SO important if you’re considering going into an long term relationship with her
(notice I said A compatible woman, not THE compatible woman, there is no ”one”).
Knowing exactly what you’re looking for in a woman in advance, will prevent these incidents from occurring. Now with that said, I need to point something out here: you are rarely, RARELY, ever going to find a woman, that is already what you are looking for.
Its just not going to happen.
Instead what you need to do, is find a woman that is moldable. A woman you can train. A woman that will adapt herself, to fit what it is YOU need her to be. Women are inherently designed to do this. Its in their primal nature. In fact, deep down women even WANT to do this for the right man.
They may not know it, and they may not admit it, but all women ALL secretly hope a man will come along and and be so self-assured in himself, that he’ll train her to be what he wants her to be.
ALL women want to be led. ALL women want to be told what to be to their man, by their man. Just don’t ever tell them this is what you’re doing, they don’t like communicating on matters like this in an overt way.
I wanted to share all this as I know it help some men out there.
Always remember: Never mistake a woman’s feelings towards you as her ”liking you for who you are”. Women never (directly) inherently like, or remain with a man for who he is. They remain with a man for 2 reasons, and 2 reasons only:
1.) Because of how these men make them feel (good or bad). And,
2.) They get value, resources, or provisioning from that man.
I’d love to hear your thoughts or comments, leave them below.