If you make a woman the center of your life, she will punish you for it.
She doesn’t want that kind of pressure…
Never make a woman your life’s mission, she should always just be along for the ride, never the focus. Many a man these days make this mistake, especially the younger ones. Don’t be one of them. This one might seem like it makes complete sense to you on the surface, upon 1st hearing it, but you have to actually stop and think about this one.
Stop and think for a few minutes about exactly what this means. Find out what it is you want to do with your life, what it is you want to build. And no this does not mean a family. Its that’s something you want one day, then great, that’s an admirable goal, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. You cannot make something like that, your life’s mission.
Your life’s mission needs to be your 1st major contribution to this world.
Once you’ve built and developed your 1st major contribution to this world, then you can work on building a family and spreading your genes, but until then, don’t worry about that. Now if you were a girl, I’d tell you something different. So this advice I’m giving you guys here today, for men, not for women.
Your major contribution will be something of great value you are able to offer or contribute (to other people). It will have to be something you are very passionate about, or else it will never work. Without passion, you will not stick it out long enough to see it through.
I’m talking about your destiny here guys, your mission, your life’s major contribution to this world.
2nd Point: Treat yourself with respect, because if you don’t: no one else will.
In essence, where I’m going to go with on this point here is this:
Don’t tolerate bad treatment from women guys, there are 2 very commons ways this manifest’s itself:
A.) With a woman you’re already with/seeing, AND
B.) With a woman that just ”dumped” you
Let’s talk about A 1st here for a minute.
A.) Tolerating Disrespect from a woman you’re already with/are seeing.
NEVER, EVER tolerate bad behavior or disrespect from a woman. When I was younger, I dated a very attractive girl from Detroit. She became my girlfriend for a brief period of time. I think back on the months I spent with this girl, and I’m absolutely horrified at the crap I put up with from this girl. This was years ago now, but it’s still very frustrating when I think back on it.
The quirks and snarky comments I would let her make and get away with….it just amazes me when I think back on it.
All just because it made me look cool to date an attractive girl that was socially connected to a lot of people. I have no idea what the hell was wrong with me, or what I was thinking at the time.
The man I am today, compared to the man I was at that time in my life, could not be more of a night and day difference. A girl like that nowadays would get kicked to the curb IMMEDIATELY. Faster than immediately.
All the time and money I wasted on this girl just makes me sick to my stomach.
The worst part about all of it, was that I actually thought that I liked her. She actually had me convinced that I liked her. What a joke…
I can only conclude that I was not a man yet, because knowing the kind of man I am today, she just never would have made it that far into my life. I’m too good nowadays at detecting red flags and insecurity in women, early on.
Another common example of this that I see fellas, is this: Don’t be friends with a woman if that’s not what you want.
Now let’s talk about B
B.) Tolerating Disrespect from a girl that just dumped you.
There are a few ways this one usually plays out, but for the purposes of using an all-encompassing scenario, let’s use this one: let’s say you meet an attractive girl, one you approach either through day game or night game (or even a girl you meet online). In my own life, pretty much every short or long relationship I’ve ever had, came not from a girl I met online, but a girl I either approached or met through a social circle. Very few (in fact none) of any of the relationships I’ve ever had, came from girls I met online.
But in any case, let’s say that, regardless of how you met her:
A.) She is very attractive,
B.) She really liked you
C.) She was very good or at least pretty good in bed and
D.) You spent anywhere from a few weeks to a couple of months of time dating her.
Things progressed nicely, she either almost became your GF, or DID become your GF. Then, one day, she just suddenly lost interest. When this happens, usually it sort of blindsides the guy, and because it blindsides him, he becomes completely absorbed in trying to win her back, or in figuring out exactly where he went wrong.
This is normal male nature: we like to solve problems.
Hey guys, I’ve been there, and despite what many guys will claim, this has happened to all of us at one point or another.
This one is much easier said than done, but the next time this happens guys, you have to realize that: the reason situations like this are still happening to you, is because you still have work to do on yourself. Women who know that they are with high-value men already, do not do things like this, they do not say things like ”I need space” or ”I need time to find myself”.
Women only do or say things like this to men, when they are starting to question, men they are starting to feel unsure of.
Usually, its because you did not act like a man, and you said something, or did or didn’t something, that made her feel unsafe. So what I’m getting at here (if this happened to you, or is still happening to you), is that YOU, on a fundamental level, are still unsure of yourself as well.
Think about it: if you were 110% completely sure of yourself, and knew who you are as a man, what your mission is, what you’re looking for and what you’re aiming for with your life, it’s very very unlikely that the woman will start to feel unsure about you.
She will actually feel the exact opposite: she will feel very sure of you, your competence, and your ability to lead her and the relationship the two of you have. Nothing at all about the dynamic between the two of you, and/or your competence as a man, as her highest value option, will be murky or unclear to her.
She will feel completely safe and sure that you are, who you are projecting yourself to be.
A women’s biggest fear is finding out that you are not the high-value man she thought you were, and finding it out after its too late. Finding it out after she’s invested years of her life in you. She wants to find this out early in the relationship, not years into it.
3rd Point: Don’t try to get her back, instead of trying to change the woman’s mind, look inward at what you did to drive her to this point in the 1st place (at what you did wrong).
The REAL question: is not how to get her back, it’s what you did wrong. Figure this out so that you don’t make this mistake again.
Your time will be much better spent this way than it will be trying to get her back. Never beg or plead with a woman to come back into your life. There is nothing more pathetic a man can do than this. She has to decide to come back on her own accord.
You cannot negotiate desire, and you cannot logically or rationally convince a woman that she was wrong about you.
She HAS to figure this out on her own. Logic and rationale were not the things that attracted her to you in the 1st place. What attracted her to you in the 1st place was emotion and her intuition about you.
The older you get, the less confused or puzzled by women you will be guys. The older you get, and the more experience you have with women, the more those women and their actions will make sense to you.
I’m doing my best here, to save you from having to learn things the hard way however, and to speed up your learning curve a bit.
Not only that guys: but the older you get and the more experience you get with women, the less often women will even say things like this to you anymore. The way it happened with me, is one day I just suddenly saw the code in the matrix. It all just suddenly clicked and made sense to me in 1 afternoon, after almost 3 decades of my life.
So remember guys: never make a woman, the center of your life. Doing so will lend itself very easily to all the headaches and problems I just discussed here.
I’d love to hear about what has worked for you personally, leave your comments below.
Until next time,
Christopher Mellor says
WTF Im 55 already now all this . Never did I sign up for this . Thank you anyways